Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
