My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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