so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
