I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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