Me. At least after what I've been through.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??