Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck