I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.