OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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