Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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