We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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