so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
