Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
