Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
