george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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