Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Less talking, more tequila
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
