Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
