i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
