scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
