I smell stomach acid.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
