I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
