is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
