i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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