Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
