I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize