I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
