I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
