I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
