so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
