Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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