Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
please don't ironically join a cult
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