he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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