I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
