I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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