If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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