so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
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I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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