Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Porn is love you can see.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
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