I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
