fuck your aforementioned shoe
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Randomize
