i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
