I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
