Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How external is "for external use only"?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
