I cannot find my penis.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
