I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
