i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
