i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
