i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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