I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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