I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We're too hungover to prance.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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