I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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