I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I love you. Go after that dick
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