Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
