Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
