I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dear god my vagina.
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