Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
