i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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