Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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