She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
