Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
