but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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