it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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