Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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